There is a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded:

  • 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
  • 2 French men and 1 French woman
  • 2 German men and 1 German woman
  • 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
  • 2 English men and 1 English woman
  • 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
  • 2 Swedish men and 1 Swedish woman
  • 2 American men and 1 American woman
  • 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
  • 2 Russian men and 1 Russian woman

One month later on this beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere ...

The 1st Italian man has killed the other for the Italian woman.
The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a "menage a trois" ...
The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman
The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman, and she is waiting for someone to introduce her to the American men.
The Bulgarian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming.
The two Swedish men are contemplating the virtues of suicide while the woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own and the true nature of feminism. But at least it's not snowing and the taxes are low.
The American woman has filed a law suit for sexual harassment against both American men, and they are suing each other for libel. The woman has also become a Scientologist and is having an affair with the Bulgarian woman. One of the men has become a Bahaist and befriended the wildlife on the island, while the second has become a born-again christian and attends counseling sessions with the two Swedish men.
The Irish began by dividing their island Northside-Southside and setting up a distillery. They don't remember if sex is in the picture, because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut-whiskey, but at least they know the English aren't getting any ...
The first Russian man married the Russian woman and divorced her. He is the best customer of the Irish distillery.
The other Russian man made money by actually killing the Italian on contract and by arranging exit visas for the Bulgarians; with that he acquired a controlling 33.33% share in the Irish distillery including the world-wide distribution rights to the English and he hired the Greeks as sales agents. He employs both Germans as bodyguards (hence the strict schedule) both for himself and for his Russian girlfriend, and has promised the Bulgarian woman that she can become the maid of their first child. He regularly sees the Swedish woman "to learn English".
In the mean time, the French still think they are alone on the island.

Q: How do you get rid of termites in a Southern house? A: Paint one black, and all the others will move out.

The newlyweds ask the hotel clerk for a suite. "Would you like a bridal?" he queried. "No thanks," blushed the blonde bride, "I'll just hold on to his shoulders until I get the hang of it."
A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and said, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

v v v v v

REASONS TO GO TO WORK NAKED: No one ever steals your chair. It diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk. People stop stealing your pens after they see where you keep them. You want to see if it's like the dream. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants." Inventive way to finally meet that special person in human resources. Can take advantage of your computer-monitor radiation to work on your tan. Never again will your boss say, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8 o'clock!"

Police officer George and officer Mary had been assigned to walk the beat. They had only been out a short while when Mary said, "Damn, I was running late this morning after my workout and after I showered, I forgot to put on my panties! We have to go back to the station to get them." George replied, "We don't have to go back, just give the K-9 unit, Fido, one sniff, and order him to go fetch them for you." It was a hot day and Mary didn't fell like heading back to the station, so she lifted her skirt for the dog. Fido's nose shoots between her legs, sniffing and snorting. After 10 seconds of sniffing, Fido's ears pick up, he sniffs the wind, and he is off in a flash towards the station house. Five minutes go by and no sign of Fido. Ten minutes pass, and the dog is nowhere to be seen. Fifteen minutes pass, and they are starting to worry. Twenty minutes pass, and they hear sirens in the distance. The sirens get louder and louder. Suddenly, followed by a dozen police cars, Fido rounds the corner with the Desk Sergeant's balls in his mouth.

Q: Did you hear about the new Mexican sports car? A: It's got 4 on the floor and 12 in the backseat.
Q: How many blonde jokes are there? A: None. They are all true stories
Q: Who always drives the hottest cars? A: Puerto Ricans. Everything they drive is stolen.

The math teacher asked his class, "If you have $200, and you give $50 to Jenny, $50 to Amber, and $50 to Buffy, what would you have?" To which Rotten Billy shouted, "An orgy!"

Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on.

A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it. The thief was spending less then his wife.

Ten Answers Men Would Like to Give to Woman's Stupid Questions... 1. No we can't be friends; I just want you for sex. 2. The dress doesn't make you look fat, its all that ice cream and chocolate you eat that makes you look fat. 3. You've got no chance of me calling you. 4. No, I won't be gentle. 5. Of course you have to swallow. 6. Well yes actually, I do this all the time. 7. I hate your friends. 8. I have every intention of using you, and no intention of speaking to you after tonight. 9. I'd rather watch a porno. 10. Eat it?! It took me ten beers just to get up the courage to fuck it.

Liana was a beautiful girl. As she was walking through the woods on a hot summer day, the heat became too much for her and she decided to go for a swim. She took off all her clothes, piled them neatly on the side of the riverbank and dove in. A couple of young boys came along and decided to steal her clothes. Having gotten out of the water and discovered her clothes had been stolen, Liana decided to go to the roadside and hitch a ride home. Along came Steve, riding a bicycle. He stopped for Liana. "Come," he said, "I'll ride you into town." She jumped on his bicycle and rode side-saddle in front of him. Steve said nothing, but after ten minutes Liana was so overwhelmed at how calm he was that she said, "Tell me, haven't you noticed that I'm completely naked?" "Sure," said Steve. "Haven't you noticed that you're riding on a girls bike?"

A married couple have been stranded on a deserted island for many years. One day another man washes up on shore. He and the wife become attracted to each other right away, but realize they must be creative if they are to engage in any hanky-panky. The husband, however, is very glad to see the second man there. "Now we will be able to have three people doing eight hour shifts in the watchtower, rather than two people doing 12 hour shifts." The newcomer is only too happy to help and in fact volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the tower to stand watch. Soon the couple on the ground are placing stones in a circle to make a fire to cook supper. The second man shouts down, "Hey, no screwing!" They shout back, "We're not screwing!" A few minutes later they start to put driftwood into the stone circle. Again the second man shouts down, "Hey, no screwing!" Again they shout back, "We're not screwing!" Later they are putting palm leaves on the roof of their shack to patch leaks. Once again the second man shouts down, "Hey, I said no screwing!" They shout back, "We are NOT screwing!" Eventually, his shift over, and the second man climbs down from the tower to be replaced by the husband. He's not even halfway up before the wife and her new friend are frantically fucking. The husband looks out from the tower and says, "Son-of-a-gun. From up here it DOES look like they're screwing."

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Little Johnny waves his hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?" Little Johnny says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful." Little Johnny says, "Oh, No, Miss Rogers! You're thinking of a blowjob."

A mother who was cleaning her teenage son's bedroom discovered a cache of S&M magazines under his bed. She presented them to her husband and asked, "What should I do about this?" "Well, one thing's for sure," he said. "Don't give him a spanking."

A teenage boy asked his father, "Dad, is it true there are places in Red China where a man doesn't know his wife until after they get married?" "Son, that happens in every country," his father sadly answered.

A couple were having dinner at a restaurant when the wife noticed her ex drinking at the bar. "Look at him!" she said smugly, "He's been drinking like that ever since I left him seven years ago!" "Don't be ridiculous, Dear," her husband said, "Nobody celebrates for that long."

Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says, "I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it." "Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?" "Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator. "Hmmm. Well, where do you catch'em?" "Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp." "Same here. Hmmm. How do you catch 'em?" "Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite 'em, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat 'em!" "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin' the shit out of a lawyer, there's nothing'left but lips and a briefcase!"

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20500

Dear Concerned Citizen
Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. My administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter. Ahmed's meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest serving meals that do not require utensils, particularly knives and forks. Also, these should be "one-handed" foods; Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses it to wipe himself after purging his bowels (which he will do in your yard) - but look on the bright increase in the toilet paper bill! He generally bathes quarterly with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and he washes his clothes simultaneously. This should help with your water bill. Also, your new friend has a really bad case of body lice that hasn't been completely remedied. Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee's cage: "Does not play well with others." Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. He will bite you, given the chance, but his rabies test came back negative, so not to worry. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We do not suggest that you ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him. Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. However, he will be eager to assist with the education of your sons; have available for their use several copies of the Q'uran. Oh - and rest assured that he absolutely loves animals, especially cats and dogs. He prefers them roasted, but raw is fine, too, if they aren't more than 2 or 3 days dead. Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you, who know so much, keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. We think this watching over each other's shoulder is such a good way for people to interact that we will be sending a team of federal officials with expertise in your line of work to your place of business soon, just to help you do your job better. Don't be concerned that they have the power to close your business, seize your property, and arrest you for any violation of the 4,850,206 federal laws, codes, regulations and rules that apply to your profession. They're really there just to make sure you're doing everything the proper way. That is what you wanted, right? Well, thank you for this opportunity to interact with such a valued member of the citizenry. You take good care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching.

Cordially, George W. Bush

Q: What, next to pedophilia, is the most difficult thing for the Catholic church to explain? A: If Jesus were a Jew, why did He have a Puerto Rican name?

Well dere once was a story 'bout a man named Bill; Da poor president couldn't keep his willie still; Den one day he was workin' at his desk, When in walks Monica and shows da boy her chest... Boobs, that is. Two of 'em. Bodacious ta ta's. Well da next thing ya know, Monica is on her knees, Mouth open wide and as happy as you please; Bill sez, "oh yeah now-don't say a thing," "If you do a good job then we'll have a little fling." Blow job, that is. Phalli osculation. Well, Bill shot his load and it fell upon her dress, He said, "Clean it up,'cuz you really are a mess, And you're invited here to dis fine locality, To have a heapin' helpin' of little Willie C." Da wiener, that is. Da presidential staff. So week after week, Monica is on her knees Keepin' Willie and his Wiener just as happy as you please, But then she figured out dat the fling had gone too far, And she blabbed it all to Linda Tripp who blabbed it all to Starr. Bad girl, that is. Cigars. Bodacious ta ta's. Well it weren't too long till we all knew the score, 'bout da stuff dat went down behind da oval office door; Da country's in da toilet and da people cry, "No More" But if we oust da cheatin' jerk, den we gotta live with Gore. Boob, that is. Great big one. Head stuck up his rear. So now ya know da story 'bout Bill our president, Wonderin' if dis fling's gonna cost him every cent; So da moral of da story is to do it quietly, And stay outta trouble with dat bitch named Hillary.

A female policeman arrested a guy for drunk driving and advised him, "I have to warn you that anything you say will be held against you." "Your tits!" he replied.

COMPARING MEN WITH WOMEN: NICKNAMES - If Laura, Suzanne, Debra, and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. But if Mike, Charlie, Bob, and John go out for a night, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, PeanutHead, and Numb-Nuts.
EATING OUT - When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob, and John will each throw in $20, even though the total bill is only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY - A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
BATHROOMS - A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS - A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS - Women love cats. Men may say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE - A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS - A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE - A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DRESSING UP - A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up only for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL - Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING - Ah, children! A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favourite foods, and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people crawling around on his floor.

As he got into bed the husband was very much in the mood, but was hardly surprised when his wife pushed his hand off her breast. "Lay off, honey. I have a headache." "Perfect!" he said without missing a beat. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my dick with aspirin."

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage

The teacher says, "Okay, class, we're going to play a game today. I want everyone to give me a sentence with the word 'perhaps' in it." Claude says, "Perhaps, if we are good, the teacher won't give us any homework." The teacher says, "Very good, Claude." Mary says, "The sky is very dark...perhaps it's going to rain." The teacher says, "Very good, Mary." She then calls on Dirty Johnny in the back. "John?" Johnny says, "Yesterday, when I got home from school, my sister and her music teacher were hugging and both had their pants down to their ankles. Perhaps they were just gonna shit on the piano."

A man doing a survey knocks on this door. "Hello!" he says, to the Downs Syndrome girl stood before him. "Is your mother in?" "No," says the retard, "She's in an insane asylum." "Oh dear," the man answers, "Is your father in?" "No," replies the girl, "He's in prison." "Goodness," says the man. "So your mother's in an insane asylum and your father's in prison." "That's right." "Have you got any brothers or sisters?" "I've got a brother." "Is he at home?" "No, he's at University." "Well, that's something," says the man. "What's he doing there?" "He's in a jar."

Q: Which are the two best holes in a woman? A: Her nostrils. Otherwise she could not breath while giving head.
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: Other lawyers look interested.

The little girl said to Little Willie, "Do you want me to take all my clothes off so you can play doctor?" "Fuck no," Little Willie answered, "I want you to spit out your gum so I can play President."

The black woman was fixing lunch one day when her illegitimate teenage boy-chile came in and said, "Mammy, will you take me to the zoo tomorrow?" "No," said his mammy, "If they wants you, they can come and gets you."

Q: What is the difference between sex for money and sex for free? A: Sex for money ultimately costs you less.
Q: What changes do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell? A: No changes occur.

A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner grocery picking out a box of laundry detergent. A grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. "Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." "But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll be sick or it might even kill him." But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it. About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. "Oh, he died," the boy said. The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog." "Well," the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him." "Oh? What was it then?" "I think it was the spin cycle."

 A man had been trying for years to meet the Pope. Finally, his wish was granted. When the gentleman approached the Pope he said, "Your Eminence, I am so happy to be given this chance to speak with you and I would like to tell you a joke before I start." The Pope replied, "Of course my son. Go ahead and tell your joke." The man continued, "There were these two Pollacks and..." The Pope interrupted, "My son, do you realize that I am Polish?" "OK, then, I'll tell it more slowly . . ."

Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him his wife's been in a terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital, runs into the
ER and says his wife's been in an accident. They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the case. They page the doctor. He comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones. "Mr. Jones?" the doctor asks. "Yes sir, what's happened? How is my wife?" The doctor sits next to him and says, "Not good news. Your wife's accident resulted in two fractures of her spine." "Oh my God" says Mr. Jones, "what will be her prognosis?" Dr. Smith says, "Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However, her spine is inoperable. She'll have no motor skills or capability. This means you will have to feed her." Mr. Jones begins to sob. "And you'll have to turn her in her bed every two hours to prevent pneumonia." Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly. "Then, of course," the doctor continued, "you'll have to diaper her as she'll have no control over her bladder and of course these diapers must be changed at least five times a day." Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries, sobs, wails. The doctor continues, "And you'll have to clean up her feces on a regular basis as she'll have no control over her sphincter. Her bowel will engorge whenever and quite often I'm afraid. Of course you must clean her immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent she'll be emitting regularly." Now Mr. Jones is convulsing sobbing uncontrollably and beginning to wither off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass. Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats Mr. Jones on the shoulder. "Hey, I'm just fucking with you, she's dead."

Dear Sirs:
I have the solution for preventing hijackings and, at the same time, getting our airline industry back on its feet. Since men of the Muslim religion are not allowed to look at naked women, we should replace all of our female flight attendants with strippers. Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing a naked woman and, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again in hopes of seeing a naked woman. We would have no more hijackings, and the airline industry would have record sales. Now why can't Congress think like this?
Sincerely, Bill Clinton

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year- old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "George, why has your school work been so poor lately?" "I'm in love," the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?" "With you," he said. "But George," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child." "No problemo," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a rubber."

A Deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with pharmacist, and cannot see condoms on the shelf. Frustrated, the deaf-mute finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the counter, and puts down a five dollar bill next to it. The pharmacist unzips his pants, does the same as the deaf-mute, and then picks up both bills and stuffs them in his pocket. Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign language. "Look," the pharmacist says, "if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't bet."

After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama bin Laden made his way to the Pearly Gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington. "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington, slapping bin Laden in the face. Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end America's liberty, so they gave you death." Henry punches bin Laden in the face. James Madison comes up next and says, "This is why I allowed the federal Government to provide for the common defense," and kicks him in the groin. John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe and 67 other people who have the same love for liberty and America subject him to similar beatings. As bin Laden writhes in pain on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up and hurls him back to the gate to be judged. Awaiting his journey to his final very hot destination, bin Laden screams, "This is not what I was promised!" An angel replies, "Mohammed promised you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think he said?"

One day at work, Joe said to his boss, "Sir, I need to get tomorrow off. My wife is going to have a baby." And his boss granted his request. When two days later Joe walked into work, his boss asked, "So, was it a boy or a girl?" "We won't know for nine months."

Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil. After one day: The first worm, in alcohol---dead. Second worm, in cigarette smoke---dead. Third worm, in sperm---dead. Fourth worm, in soil---alive. The Moral: As long as you drink, smoke, and have sex, you won't get worms.

A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. "One Texas soldier is better than ten Taliban." The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice then calls out "One Texan is better than one hundred Taliban." Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The Texan voice calls out again "One Texan is better than one thousand Taliban." The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence. Eventually the one wounded Taliban survivor crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, they're lying - it's a trap. There's actually two of them."

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.
Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband
came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are
in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your ball and glove.
Let's go outside and play catch."

The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says, "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friend like that. That
is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and
make you confess."

They go to church, the father alerts the priest, makes the
boy sit in the confessional and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."