Rules for Single Women

• If you think all men are pigs, expect to live alone when you get older.
• If you have 100 reasons to reject a man, expect to live alone when you get older.
• Prince Charming is gay.
• Rich, attractive, nice - you can only have two in a man.
• If you ask a man on a first date how much he earns or what kind of car he drives, he gets to look at your bare breasts while you are still in the restaurant.
• If you answer your cell phone during a first date, he has the right to immediately get up and leave with no explanation.
• Choosey and "stuck up" are closely related.
• At 40, single "Rules Girls" become single, lonely women.
• If you expect a man to pay for everything, you'll need a strong jaw and a good tongue.
• Perfect men don't exist. Good men are everywhere.
• It's OK not to want kids. It's not OK to sacrifice your personal life and goals for your career.
• The kharmic retribution for putting good men into the "Friend Zone" while getting hurt by bad boys is to become bitter, angry, and the owner of at least three cats.
• You are not a princess no matter what your T-Shirt states. If you really think you are a princess, then you'd better have the body of a stripper, the face of an angel, and the personality of a saint. Even so, only Prince Charming can marry a princess and Prince Charming is gay.
• Your single girlfriends don't want you to have a happy relationship with a man. Consider this when listening to their advice.
• A man won't say "I love you" until he is 100% confident that you won't use this against him. This might take years, be patient because men can be sensitive, too.
• Taking the time to look your best is not optional. After all, if you can catch his eye then you can catch his heart. Being agreeable, pleasant, and happy will seal the deal.
• Smiles and laughter are contagious and can melt any man's heart.
• The unintended consequence of independence is loneliness.
• There is a fine line between expecting that a man pay for everything and being a common prostitute.
• Excessive complaining is neither attractive nor polite.
• You are entitled to nothing. However, you can expect rewards for working hard for something.
• Before you say "it's all his fault" after a bad date, look closely in the mirror.
• It's not always men making you unhappy. Don't let bitter women convince you of that.
• Being strong doesn't mean being bitchy. Southern women have known this for generations.
• You can't have it all. Please have the good sense to realize this.
• Compromise is not surrender, it's what is necessary to have a good relationship.
• Don't expect men to fall all over you just because you are a woman. Feminism taught men to be independent, too.
• There's nothing wrong with looking feminine.
• If he doesn't call you back, it means he's just not really into you. Deal with it.
• If you meet a man, don't find reasons to reject him or things to change in him. Find reasons to accept him and respect him.
• "As if" and "whatever" are immature insults used by 12 year olds, not intelligent young women.
• The common word in "drink whore" and "dinner whore" is still whore.
• Sorry girl, it's NOT all about you so you can change your T-Shirt now.
• Many men would rather chase women, not girls.
• Given the current state of divorce laws, don't expect any man to marry you. It's not you, it's just how things are right now.
• Hanging around gay men won't give you any useful insights about straight men. Frankly, hanging around gay men is just creepy.
• "No fat chicks" is the man's version of "If you're rich, I'm single".
• Winning a man is easy, keeping a man requires hard work.
• Advertising "Bitch" on your T-Shirt or sweatpants won't get you any dates. Single men don't care for that attitude.
• Deferring self-gratification is a sign of maturity. You can wait until dinner even if you're hungry now.
• The real world is pushy, rude, and often unpleasant. That doesn't mean you have to be the same way.
• If you dress like a slut, expect to be treated like a slut.