I was in line at the government office where applications for health-insurance cards are processed,  "Do you want me to take another photo?" the clerk asked "This one’s not very good. You’re not smiling, you look tired and your eyes are half shut."
"No, that’s okay," I replied. "That’s probably how I’ll look when I have to use the card."

I was in the movies, the girl in front got up to get  some snacks. It was completely dark in the theatre when she returned and she had some difficulty finding her row. She finally sat down next to me and whispered, "Did I miss anything?"
"Yes, "I answered. "Your row!"

One Saturday morning I got up early, made breakfast, put the dog out and went to the garage to get my bike out for a ride. Coming out of the garage  the wind was cold and  is blowing 30 mph.
Minutes later, I returned  to the garage. I came back into the house and turned the TV to the weather channel.
I find it's going to be bad weather all day long, so I put my riding gear back in the closet, quietly undressed and slipped back into bed.
There I cuddled up to my girlfriend's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible. "To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid boyfriend is out riding in that shit? ( She is no longer with me)

One of my coworkers told me one day "Men are so lucky, you don’t have cycles, mood swings, pregnancies or depressions. You just go merrily along, month after month, and nothing ever changes."
"Not true, " I said "We have you."


Roses are red, Violets are blue

Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo.

Don't feel so angry you will find me there too

Not in cage but laughing at you.


Twinkle Twinkle little star

You should know what you are

And once you know what you are

Mental hospital is not so far.


The rain makes all things beautiful.

The grass and flowers too.

If rain makes all things beautiful

Why doesn't it rain on you?


I wrote your name on sand it got washed.

I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.

Then ~

I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack


God saw me hungry, he created pizza .

He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi

He saw me in dark, he created light

He saw me without problems, he created YOU. (reminds me of someone I knew)


When your life is in darkness pray to God

Ask him to free you from darkness

And if after you pray

And you're still in darkness,
Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL!








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