I was in line at the government office where applications for health-insurance cards are processed,  "Do you want me to take another photo?" the clerk asked "This one’s not very good. You’re not smiling, you look tired and your eyes are half shut."
"No, that’s okay," I replied. "That’s probably how I’ll look when I have to use the card."

I was in the movies, the girl in front got up to get  some snacks. It was completely dark in the theatre when she returned and she had some difficulty finding her row. She finally sat down next to me and whispered, "Did I miss anything?"
"Yes, "I answered. "Your row!"

One Saturday morning I got up early, made breakfast, put the dog out and went to the garage to get my bike out for a ride. Coming out of the garage  the wind was cold and  is blowing 30 mph.
Minutes later, I returned  to the garage. I came back into the house and turned the TV to the weather channel.
I find it's going to be bad weather all day long, so I put my riding gear back in the closet, quietly undressed and slipped back into bed.
There I cuddled up to my girlfriend's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible. "To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid boyfriend is out riding in that shit? ( She is no longer with me)

One of my coworkers told me one day "Men are so lucky, you don’t have cycles, mood swings, pregnancies or depressions. You just go merrily along, month after month, and nothing ever changes."
"Not true, " I said "We have you."

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