Limericks

The limerick form is complex
Its contents run chiefly to sex
It burgeons with virgins
And masculine urgins
And swarms with erotic effex

There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you probably think---
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

There was a lady who triplets begat
Nat, Pat and Tat
It was fun breeding
But trouble feeding
Cause she didn't have a tit for Tat

thginK fo namow gnuoy a saw erehT
,thgir eht ot tfel eht morf etirw dluow ohW
rorrim a ni dekool ehs liT'
.rorre reh derevocsid dnA
!thgir eht morf tfel eht ot setirw ehs woN

There once was a man from Madrass
Who's balls were constructed of brass
When jangled together
They played stormy weather
And lightening shot out of his ass!

Once in the rain I saw a man,
Strolling with an umbrella in hand.
When I said it was insane
To walk in the rain,
He said " Well then, I'll just stand".

There was a young fellow named perkin
Who was always jerkin his gherkin
His father said perkin
Stop jerkin your gherkin
Your gherkins fer ferkin not jerkin

There one was a man from Peru,
Who dreamed of eating his shoe,
he awoke with a fright,
in the middle of the night,
and found that his dream had come true!

A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
And they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom

There once was a technician named Lil.
That took a chance on a Nuclear Pill.
They found her vagina,
in South Carolina,
and her boobs in a tree in Brazil!

An Argentine Gaucho named Bruno
Said Sex is one thing I do know
Women are fine
And sheep are divine
But llamas are numero uno!

There once was a man named Eugeene,
Who built a masturbation machine,
The damned thing broke
On the 14th stroke,
And whipped his balls to a cream.

There once was a man who was not very kind,
he used his penis instead of his mind,
one day he bent over,
and his dog took over,
a gave him a bone from behind.

There once was a girl from Decator
who was laid by a big alligator
nobody knew
the results of that screw
'cuz after he laid her, he ate her.

There once was a man from Racine,
Who invented a fucking machine,
concave and convex,
it fucked either sex
and jerked off itself in between

There was a young girl from Balmoral
whose habits were highly immoral.
For the price of a dime
she took three at a time,
one fore, one aft, and one oral.

The 80-year-old accused of rape was called Mort,
And the judge said, "Sir, you'll have to be tried in court."
But the jury was sympathetic,
Because Mort was sick, old, and pathetic,
And the evidence wouldn't stand up in court.

A gentle old lady I knew
Was dozing one day in her pew;
When the preacher yelled "Sin!"
She said," Count me in!
As soon as the service is through!"

There was a young lady from Cheshire
Who succumbed to her lover's desire
She said,"It's a sin,
But now that it's in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?"

There was a young sailor named Fred.
He once took a mermaid to bed.
He said, to be blunt,
"I can't find your cunt,
so why don't you blow me, instead!"

There once was a fair young lass
Her body was made out of glass
From there you could note
What went on in her throat
and all the way down to her ass.

Governor Willy's face got quite red
When he said, "Paula, give me some head."
He pulled down his pants,
And expected romance,
But Miss Jones sued his dumb ass instead.

There once was a lady from Niger
Who had an affair with a tiger
The result of the fuck
Was a bald headed duck
Two gnats and a circumcised spider

There once was a president named Billy,
Whose sexual prowess to me seemed quite silly,
Till he was sued,
It was us who was screwed,
By all the young girls sucking his Willie!

There once was a fart deep within,
who thought that to stay was a sin,
So he tunneled about,
till he found his way out,
as I silently sat with a grin

There was a fat turkey named Sam,
Who gobbled whenever he ran.
He came out of the bush,
Presenting his tush,
And was shot up the arse by a man

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